Ghosted? Here’s How to Heal & Move On

Getting ghosted sucks, and if you’re here because you’ve been recently ghosted, I’m sorry. Ghosting, the sudden and unexplained cessation of communication, has become an unfortunate reality of modern dating. Being ghosted can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and uncertain about what you did. While it’s natural to experience a range of emotions and self-doubt, it’s important to remember that ghosting is a reflection of the other person’s behavior, not a reflection on you. If you’ve been ghosted, these steps will help you move past the natural negative feelings and emotions that come with the territory.

Step One: Acknowledge Your Feelings.

The first step to healing from ghosting is to acknowledge and accept your emotions. Don’t suppress or ignore your feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion. Refusing to let yourself think about your hurt isn’t helpful. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Talking to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking therapy can provide a supportive space to process your emotions. If you don’t feel like sharing your experience with another person, try journaling. In this stage, you’re just letting out how you feel.

Step Two: Avoid Contact and Self-Sabotage.

Resist the urge to reach out to the ghoster. Repeated attempts to contact them will only prolong your pain and give them the power to control the situation. Instead, focus on your own well-being and happiness. Avoid engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors such as social media stalking or negative self-talk. If you struggle to stop yourself from texting, write their number down on a piece of paper and delete their number from your phone. (This is often easier to do than just deleting their number.)

Step Three: Practice Self-Care.

Prioritize your physical and mental health during this time of emotional upheaval. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Exercise, healthy eating, and mindfulness practices can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift and encourage you. If you want to jump back into dating, make sure that you’re emotionally ready.

Step Four. Recognize It’s Not About You.

It’s easy to take ghosting personally, but it’s important to remember that it’s more about the ghoster’s inability to communicate effectively and their lack of respect for your feelings. It’s not a reflection of your value as a person. Take some time to reflect on the situation and remind yourself of your positive qualities. Step outside your own experience: what would you tell a friend who was going through the same thing? Tell that to yourself.

Step Five. Move Forward with Confidence

Don’t let ghosting define your dating experiences. With time, you can move forward from this experience with renewed confidence and a healthy approach to dating. Don’t let this person change your mindset for the worse or turn you into a cynic. They aren’t worth that. Strive not to let those who hurt us live rent-free in our heads forever.

And the Last Thing: Don’t Continue the Cycle

If you’ve been ghosted before, it’s easy to justify to yourself ghosting someone else—isn’t it just a reality of the current dating culture? Don’t let yourself fall to their level. Maintain empathy and remember how it felt—be a part of a better dating world, and karma will take care of the rest.

Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.

BrenÉ brown

Those are our tips for what to do after being ghosted. In all honesty, we wish there was a insta-remedy you could take for the way you may be feeling right now, but sadly, it doesn’t work like that—we can only prescribe time and care. We hope that, if you are reading this, this is the last time you are ever ghosted. We hope that you feel better during a terrible time. And we hope that this experience doesn’t stop you from moving forward with dating and meeting people—a loving and caring relationship is worth it.

Good luck, feel better, and happy dating!