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The Best Dating Advice Books for Women in 2024

We review some classics, some new entries, and some surprising entries, as well as dating advice books for women we don’t recommend. Here they are.


A quick search on Amazon reveals that there are over 5,000 dating advice books for sale—and that’s just what’s on Amazon. So how do you know which ones to read? There are tons of different dating advice books for women—new books filled with scientific studies about love, books that your mom probably read to find your dad, and books that are absolute nonsense that you should probably never read. (Self-publishing—it’s a riot!) We’ve read the most popular dating advice books (and some lesser-known ones) for women that are out there, and in this article we’ll tell you our favorites.

A note about our recommendations: we don’t believe there’s one-size-fits-all dating advice—what you need is going to be different from what your best friend needs—and what you find helpful is going to be different, too. We’ve separated out our recommendations into categories so you can find what best fits your style and needs. We review some classic dating advice books as well as some new dating advice books—there are some books that stand the test of time when it comes to dating advice, as certain things about humans and relationships don’t change. Then, there are books that no longer seem relevant to today’s world. We’ve tried to include many different types of dating advice for people who desire different things from their relationships—no need to read nineteen books that all say the same thing.

So, onto the books!

Best Motivational Book

dating advice book - single on purpose cover

Single On Purpose by John Kim


Before we start with the dating advice books, let’s start with something equally important: your mindset. This book pushes you to re-examine your own life and invest in yourself before pushing yourself to date. John Kim’s “Single On Purpose” dives into the world of singledom, not as a waiting room for romance, but as a vibrant landscape in itself. If you’re single and looking for a dose of self-empowerment and introspection, this book might be your perfect companion. Here’s a breakdown:

What You’ll Love:

  • Raw and relatable: Kim writes with unfiltered honesty, sharing his own journey from “alone and disconnected” to “alone and fulfilled.” This vulnerability creates a strong connection with readers, especially those navigating similar experiences.
  • Focus on self-discovery: The book goes beyond just dating advice. It emphasizes building a fulfilling life for yourself, prioritizing self-care, and understanding your desires and needs.
  • Actionable insights: The book is packed with practical tips and exercises to help you break unhealthy patterns, redefine your relationships, and embrace your singlehood.
  • Humor and heart: Kim’s writing is witty and engaging, making the book a pleasurable read even when tackling tough topics. He balances humor with insightful reflection, creating a relatable and thought-provoking experience.

Potential Caveats:

  • Not a magic bullet: If you’re looking for a quick fix to find a partner, this book might not be for you. It’s more about personal growth and inner transformation than finding instant love.
  • Tough love approach: Kim doesn’t shy away from holding readers accountable. He challenges limiting beliefs and unhealthy patterns, which can be uncomfortable but ultimately rewarding.
  • Not for everyone: The book’s blunt and honest style might not appeal to everyone. Some readers might find it too direct or lacking in traditional self-help fluff.

Best Dating Advice Books for Women: Classic Dating Advice Book

why men love bitches cover - a dating advice book for women

“Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov


“Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov is a self-help relationship book that offers advice to women on how to maintain healthy and fulfilling relationships. This book provides a no-nonsense approach to dating and relationships, encouraging women to be strong and independent while still maintaining their femininity. The central premise of the book is not about being mean or disrespectful; instead, it encourages women to assert themselves, set boundaries, and prioritize their own needs. Argov suggests that men are attracted to women who are confident, independent, and have a sense of self-worth.

If you’re wondering (and of course you are), the term “bitch” in the title is used to describe a woman who is strong, self-assured, and doesn’t compromise her values for the sake of a relationship. The book emphasizes the importance of self-respect, maintaining one’s individuality, and not becoming overly accommodating in relationships. Overall, it aims to empower women to have a fulfilling and balanced romantic life. It was published in 2002 and is still a best seller in the category.

Best Book about Psychology & Dating

attached: the new science of adult attachment cover

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller


This book explains attachment theory, which can help you understand your own dating patterns and those of the people you date. The authors present a comprehensive guide that sheds light on the various attachment styles and their impact on interpersonal dynamics.

One of the strengths of the book lies in its ability to make psychological concepts accessible to a broad audience. The authors skillfully weave together real-life examples, practical advice, and scientific research, creating a well-rounded resource for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of their own attachment style and its implications for relationships.

The book introduces readers to the three primary attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure, and explores how these styles influence romantic connections. By delving into the origins of these attachment patterns and their influence on adult relationships, Levine and Heller empower readers to recognize and address patterns that may be hindering their ability to form secure and fulfilling bonds.

What sets this guide apart is its emphasis on practical strategies for improving relationship dynamics. The authors offer actionable advice for individuals with different attachment styles, helping them build healthier connections and overcome common challenges.

Best Book for Dating Traditionalists

The rules - time tested secrets for capturing the heart of mr right, one of the dating advice books for women

The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider


This classic dating guide teaches women how to play the dating game and win by following a set of strict rules and guidelines. It has a view of men and women that is very traditional: men are like this, women are like this, here’s how to act. Be more feminine and he’ll be more masculine. This book is only for those who are interested in finding relationships with strict gender roles—for everyone else, it’s probably an awful choice.

Best Book for Dating Rebels

Fu*k the Rules: Dating Playbook for Women: Dating & Relationship Advice by Lanie Stevens


Maybe you hate all that advice that feels like it was written in the eighties, or by a man. (We understand—there’s so many of those.) It’s not a very well-known book, but we appreciate this book for it’s straightforward and modern approach to dating. It gives practical advice, but warns that there aren’t really rules in dating. It bills itself as a book for badass women, and women who may want to have more control and power in their relationships.

Best Book for Diagnosing Your Dating

If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? by Susan Page


The book addresses the concerns and frustrations of single individuals who wonder why they haven’t found a satisfying and lasting romantic relationship. It suggests several ways to diagnose your dating issues:

  1. Self-Reflection: The book encourages readers to reflect on their own attitudes, behaviors, and expectations in relationships. It emphasizes the importance of understanding oneself before seeking a compatible partner.
  2. Identifying Patterns: Susan Page explores the idea that people often repeat patterns in their relationships. The book encourages readers to identify any recurring themes or behaviors that may be hindering their chances of finding a suitable partner.
  3. Taking Initiative: The author advises taking an active role in one’s romantic life rather than waiting for the perfect partner to come along. This involves being proactive in meeting new people, expanding social circles, and participating in activities that align with personal interests.
  4. Communication Skills: Effective communication is highlighted as a crucial aspect of successful relationships. The book offers insights into expressing needs, setting boundaries, and fostering open and honest communication with potential partners.
  5. Self-Improvement: Susan Page suggests that personal growth and development can contribute to a more fulfilling romantic life. This includes working on self-esteem, confidence, and any areas of personal improvement that may positively impact relationships.
  6. Building Healthy Relationships: The book encourages readers to focus on building healthy, mutually satisfying relationships rather than settling for relationships that may not meet their needs.

Overall, “If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?” provides practical advice and exercises to help individuals navigate the complexities of dating and relationships, with a focus on self-discovery and personal growth, and will help you diagnose your dating issues.

Best Book About Modern Dating Culture

Date-O-Nomics by Jon Birger


Want to read about dating and society? “Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game” by Jon Birger is a book that explores the impact of demographic imbalances on dating and relationships. It’s not a dating advice book, but it is an interesting read about what is happening in the modern dating world:

  1. Gender Imbalance: Birger argues that in certain demographics and locations, there is a noticeable gender imbalance, with more educated women than men. This demographic shift has implications for dating dynamics.
  2. Educational Disparities: The book discusses how changes in the education and career landscape have led to more women pursuing higher education and professional success. This, in turn, has created a situation where highly educated women outnumber their male counterparts in some places.
  3. Dating Challenges: The imbalances in the dating pool can create challenges for both men and women. For example, women may find it difficult to find a suitable partner who meets their educational and career standards, while men might feel overwhelmed or less motivated to commit due to an abundance of options.
  4. Economic Factors: Birger explores the economic factors that contribute to these imbalances, including the impact of industries and job opportunities on the distribution of eligible singles.
  5. Dating Strategies: The book suggests that understanding these demographic imbalances can help individuals make more informed decisions about their dating strategies. It discusses how people may need to adjust their expectations and be open to different approaches in the dating game.
  6. Impact on Society: Birger also delves into the broader societal impacts of these imbalances, including potential effects on marriage rates, family structures, and societal norms surrounding dating and relationships.

We included this not because we believe it’s a helpful dating guide, but because as someone who is in the thick of modern dating culture, you might be interested.

Best Book for the Science-Minded

Best Overall

How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love by Logan Ury | 2021


This is our pick for the best-science minded, and best overall. This book is based on research and offers practical advice on how to meet potential partners, build healthy relationships, and avoid common dating pitfalls. It delves into the psychology and science of relationships, offering insights and practical advice on finding lasting love. There are a few main things it covers:

  1. Understanding Relationship Patterns: Ury explores common patterns and behaviors that can contribute to individuals remaining single. This involves self-reflection to identify any negative relationship patterns and addressing them for personal growth.
  2. Identifying Core Values: The book emphasizes the importance of identifying and understanding one’s core values and preferences in a partner. By being clear about what truly matters, individuals can make more informed and fulfilling choices in their relationships.
  3. Effective Communication: Ury discusses the significance of communication skills in building and maintaining successful relationships. This includes expressing needs, setting boundaries, and understanding the importance of effective dialogue.
  4. Overcoming Dating Challenges: The book provides practical advice for navigating the challenges of modern dating, such as online dating, first dates, and dealing with rejection. Ury offers strategies to approach dating with a positive mindset and increase the likelihood of forming meaningful connections.
  5. Addressing Fears and Insecurities: Ury addresses common fears and insecurities that can hinder one’s ability to find and maintain a healthy relationship. By acknowledging and working through these issues, individuals can improve their emotional well-being and approach dating with greater confidence.
  6. Building Lasting Connections: The book explores the science of attraction and compatibility, shedding light on factors that contribute to long-term compatibility. Ury provides insights into building and sustaining meaningful connections that have the potential to lead to lasting love.

“How to Not Die Alone” combines research findings with practical advice to help individuals understand themselves better, improve their dating experiences, and increase their chances of finding a fulfilling and lasting romantic relationship. If you’re looking for a book that is backed with scientific studies (rather than just someone’s opinion about dating), this is a good option.

Best Dating Journal

The Date Book Dating Journal — Strategy Journaling Co

Link To Book

Hey, that’s us! Okay, we couldn’t write a list without including our own book here. We believe that keeping a dating journal will help you improve your dating life more than any dating advice book can. We believe that being honest with yourself via journaling can help your dating life in ways that traditional dating advice cannot.

When you spend the time to journal and reflect on your goals, desires, and behaviors, what you learn will be more valuable than what any dating advice book can tell you.Keeping a dating journal will help you date more mindfully, making sure the people you’re dating are right for you. You’ll better notice the patterns that are happening in your dating life when you keep a dating journal, helping you break out of negative ones. And, it’s a keepsake for when you do find your partner—a memory of the journey you went on to find them.

And if you’re not ready to buy one, that’s okay too! Try keeping one on your own in any notebook or journal you have. We’ve got prompts and tips that can help you get started.

write your love story

Embrace the Power of
Intentional Dating

Start your journey toward a fulfilling dating life and begin your adventure to love and self-discovery with our new dating journal.

Best Dating Humor

Twenty Guys You Date in Your Twenties by Gabi Conti


Charts, quizzes, opinion columns—this isn’t your average dating advice book. It’s fun and playful and relatable—humorous, but insightful. However, if you haven’t been immersed in modern dating culture, it may not make much sense—it’s more for those women going through the thick of it.

Dating Advice Books For Women We Don’t Recommend

What we don’t recommend is probably just as important as what we do recommend. We’ve seen the dating advice book recommendations out there, and we’re baffled. 😕 Here are some of the books that didn’t make our list.

“Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” by Steve Harvey

These seems to be an incredibly popular addition to any “dating advice book for women” list—but we really don’t understand why. Why is Steve Harvey a credible source for dating advice? Why are people still listening to this? Perhaps it has really helped people in the past, but we don’t see it as very helpful for modern-day dating dynamics and culture.

The Laws of Seduction by Robert Greene

Another best-seller type that’s often recommended… Though it’s an interesting read about the different types of seductive profiles, there isn’t much you can really take from the book to apply to your own dating life, and it feels more like a study of some human archetypes than anything that can be practically applied.

We hope this list gave you some ideas on what to read if you’re looking for dating advice (if you don’t want to read our blog ;)) We’ll be updating this list in case new books come out that we recommend. Good luck, and happy dating!

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