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Our Dating Philosophy

Who we are, what we believe, and what you can expect from us.

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So you’ve stumbled across our website, seen our posts on dating and journaling, maybe checked out The Date Book, and might be wondering, who are these people? How do I know I can trust their dating advice and dating outlook?

We believe dating advice isn’t all created equal. The dating advice you listen to has the power to shape your life drastically. If you listen to dating advice from someone with a warped view of humanity, who treats dating as a win/lose situation, that will negatively affect your future relationships. If their philosophy promotes non-empathy, is cynical about humanity or gender, and views relationships as transactional, then if you follow their advice, that’s the outlook (and result) you’re going to end up with.

Here’s what we believe so you can know whether to listen to us (or not 😉)

We believe who you date is one of the most IMPORTANT decisions you’re ever going to make in your life.

Relationships are a huge part of the human experience, and your dating life is something that deserves your energy and attention. Sure, you can just wander in and hope for the best—or you can date with intention and thought. Our goal is to promote a healthy dating culture. We created our dating journal (and the accompanying dating blog) to help you think more deeply about what you want from your dating life.

Who We Are & What We Believe

We don’t believe dating is a zero-sum game or an adversarial pursuit and we certainly don’t believe that it’s a miserable slog.

We aren’t going to promise you that you’ll find the love of your life tomorrow.

We aren’t going to give you ten ways to attract a billionaire who will ride in on a white horse and shower you with free no strings attached money.

Sorry, no.

Instead, we hope to encourage you as you look for a partner that shares your values, your hopes and your dreams, and treats you with kindness and respect, who you also find attractive and fun to be around. Our advice reflects these universal human desires, and is practical about helping you find this.

We are neither cynics nor hopeless romantics. We don’t believe that dating is about writing down a list of characteristics and finding someone who fits them. (That doesn’t work.) We also don’t believe dating is about always following your heart… when your heart keeps leading you into bad places. We believe in the power of both logic and emotion when it comes to dating—heart and mind together.

Finally, we believe that love is out there and that dating is a journey worth taking—we want you to keep trying.

Who is our dating advice for?

We made sure it works for everyone, whether you’re dating women or men or both or neither.

We all want the same things from our relationships.

We want partners that share our values, hopes, and dreams.

We want relationships based on mutual respect and trust.

We want someone we’re attracted to and who we can have fun with.

And the Date Book reflects these universal human desires.

What We Want You To Get From Dating (Apart from Love)

I’m one of those weird people that absolutely loved online dating. I made so many friends, met a diverse slice of humanity and generally had a wonderful time, even though there was heartbreak and rejection and sometimes awful people and really bad dates.

So many people seem to hate dating in this day and age, and it’s true that online dating culture has become warped.

You’re likely to come out of the experience with some crazy dating stories about a girl who stole your wallet and a guy who picked a fight with your waiter.

But we hope that you’ll look back on it and think it was fun—a fun time in your life that happened before you met your partner that you can look back on fondly.

Thanks for reading & happy dating!

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WHEN all else FAILS

Sometimes dating advice isn’t enough.

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