This blog post was written by our founder!
I’m Sarah, the founder of Strategy Journaling Co. I’m one of those weirdos who has been journaling since I was four (if you count my barely legible scribbles from back then as a journal). Our first product, The Date Book, is a love letter to my time spent online dating.
I’m also someone that absolutely loved online dating. I made so many friends, met a diverse slice of humanity and generally had a wonderful time, even though there was heartbreak and rejection and sometimes awful people and really bad dates. But it wasn’t always like that.
When I started dating, I made all the mistakes that one can make, and more. On my second-ever online date, I texted my best friend that I had found love (Spoiler: I had not, in fact, found love. Real love would come seven years and a relationship or two later.) The dating journal I kept helped me get through some of the toughest parts of dating—like bouncing back from rejection and staying motivated in the face of ten mediocre dates in a row.
How Journaling Became My Compass
I’m a relatively calm person. My life isn’t very dramatic and my normal range of emotions rarely has extremes. So I was not prepared for the emotional rollercoasters that dating would cause in my life.
There was this one person, who just somehow got the crazy to come out of me. It was the strangest thing. We’d have these intense, whirlwind dates that felt amazing in the moment, full of laughter and deep conversations. But then, almost as quickly, doubts would creep in. Red flags would start waving in my mind. I’d decide he wasn’t for me, that we weren’t truly compatible. And I’d tell myself that was it.
But then, a week later, in a moment of weakness, I’d message him again. I’d get sucked back into that initial excitement, that feeling that maybe I was wrong, maybe I was overthinking things. It was this endless cycle of highs and lows, of certainty and doubt. My normally calm and rational self was nowhere to be found. What was going on?
It was exhausting, and frankly, a little embarrassing. I’d grown up with volatile and toxic relationships around me, but naively thought I wasn’t going to fall victim to it in my own dating life. But here I was, feeling like I was losing control of my own emotions.
When I first started journaling more consistently about my dates, it was just a way to vent. To get all those swirling thoughts and feelings out of my head and onto paper. I’d write about the exhilarating moments, the confusing moments, the moments when I wanted to throw my phone across the room (or have my phone taken away from me so I couldn’t overanalyze.)
But as I kept doing it for every date, something shifted. I started to see patterns in my behavior, in my reactions. I became stronger at saying no and meaning it, about going after what I wanted and showing up to dates fearless and confident.
I realized that my emotional volatility wasn’t just about my dates; it was also about my own insecurities and my tendency to ignore my gut feelings.
Journaling gave me a space to process those feelings, to examine them without judgment. It helped me to untangle the web of emotions and to gain clarity. I found that the more time I spent journaling, the less I was emotionally all over the place. It became my anchor, my way of staying grounded in the midst of the dating storm. And eventually, after many moons and dates, the storm cleared and I got off the dating rollercoaster—I found my truly wonderful life partner and fiancé, Ryan—on an online date on Hinge.
The Birth of The Date Book
As I experienced the transformative power of journaling firsthand, I realized that others could benefit from this approach too. I went to my local bookstore and saw journals for astrology, for fitness, for keeping track of what you’d watched on Netflix… but I didn’t see anything for dating! Why was that, when who we choose as a life partner is one of the most important choices we are going to make in our lives?
I’d seen the damage a bad relationship can do—friends and family navigating the often subtle, yet deeply harmful, effects of everyday toxicity. I wanted to create a tool that could offer guidance and support during the vulnerable process of finding love. If I can help even just one person gain clarity, make empowered choices, and ultimately cultivate a healthier and more fulfilling dating life, then I’m happy.
My Hope for You
So many people I know hate dating in this day and age, and it’s true that modern dating culture has become warped. You’re likely to come out of it with some crazy dating stories about a girl who stole your wallet and a guy who picked a fight with your waiter. My hope is that The Date Book will empower you to embrace the adventure of dating, with all its ups and downs and wacky characters. I want you to feel equipped to navigate the challenges, celebrate the joys, and ultimately create a fulfilling love story. I hope that you’ll look back on it as I do—as an adventure and a fun part of your life that happened before you found love.
Best of luck in your dating adventure—I truly wish you the best. And I’m only an email away—let me know what you think of the book at [email protected]!
Happy dating,
—Sarah